Research shows us that 1-in-3 women have experienced an abortion... and for every woman, there is a man. Most post-abortive women tell us they feel heartache over the loss and carry a heavy burden of silence deep inside their soul. Men are now speaking up to the pain and regret they feel for their role in the abortion. The 1-in-3 suffering in silence are your mothers, daughters, sisters, grandmothers, wives, friends, ministers, and women sitting next to you in church. She is afraid to tell anyone her story or seek healing for fear of judgment and rejection, especially in the church. She has most likely walk away from God thinking He has already turned away from her. The abortion trauma will typically be followed by self-destructive behaviors adding additional layers of trauma for her to deal with.
70% have indicated they are Christian and have a religious upbringing, 45% say they are in church each week. Most believe they are unworthy of God's love and forgiveness. Their religion told them pregnancy out of wedlock is sinful and deserves punishment so in shame they looked for the quiet way out. Many parents force their daughters into abortions to avoid that same shame that will be heaped on them. Rape victims in a crisis make the decision to abort to avoid any reminders of their rape trauma but are again traumatized by their abortion experience and the loss of her child. Victims of sex trafficking who become pregnant are forced into abortion regularly by their pimps. As you can see, the abortion wounded have many different faces. There is always a real girl with a real-life story behind every pregnancy crisis. When we open our hearts to listen to their broken stories, we will begin to see where the real crisis lies and move towards a solution that changes hearts and saves lives. Abortion is not a political issue. It's a heart issue.
Portrait of a Pregnancy Crisis
When a young girl unexpectantly finds herself pregnant, her body's first response is shock-- then fear, dread, and anxiety will set in. As most humans do in a crisis, we look for the quickest way out and will rationalize ways of escape especially when a threat lurks in the dark. She will block emotions from getting involved. She does not think about this pregnancy as a baby. She has no category for that. She may not feel safe in telling her parents or family members for fear of rejection and judgment but she may have a good friend she trusts that will help her escape from the crisis. She hears of a clinic that offers to help girls in a pregnancy crisis and makes an appointment for counsel. She is told there is no baby inside her, only a blob of cells and tissue and that she will feel relieved when it is removed and able to move on with her life that same day. So she desperately buys into the lie. She has the procedure and walks out a bit relieved but also feeling an overwhelming sense of loss in her heart. In the days and weeks to come, she will often think back to the abortion day and wonder if she made the right decision. She may begin to experience nightmares and insomnia and have feelings of guilt, shame, and remorse. Triggers may take her back to the abortion keeping her stuck in the trauma. To control the pain, she may turn to alcohol and/or drugs as a way to numb up. As time marches on she may suffer from depression, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, eating disorders, regret, isolation, feelings of unworthiness, failed relationships and marriages, detachment from or extreme protection over her living children. Many additional layers of trauma have now been added and the memory of her abortion may escape her. It has been buried so deep inside her soul that she does not recognize that it is at the root of everything. She may continue in this cycle for many years not understanding why she lives a life of such pain and suffering.
Abortion has a way of catching up to us. It is like a time-bomb waiting to go off. When it does it can be paralyzing especially not knowing what to do with all the pain and grief.
If you have been through a past abortion and have experienced the pain and regret of that decision, know that you are not alone. There are many others...1-in-3 women actually! I was one of them too. I encourage you to find a safe place to tell your story. Healing begins there. I would be honored to listen to your story and help lead you into healing. You are safe and loved here. Feel free to email me confidentially at Terri@FrontPorchGirl.com.
Check out our healing programs here.
THE POSSIBLE LONG TERM AFTER EFFECTS OF ABORTION TRAUMA:
Breast Cancer Risk