Research shows that 1-in-3 women have experienced an abortion... and for every woman, there is a man. If you are the one in the three, rest assured that you are not alone. That is a lot of women who are now speaking to the unexpected heartache and grief they experienced over the loss of their child. Men are also speaking out about the regret and pain they feel for their role played in the abortion decision. The majority of abortion wounded women and men have been carrying this heavy burden of silence deep inside their souls for many years, some for decades.
The 1-in-3 are our mothers, daughters, sisters, grandmothers, wives, friends, ministers, and women sitting next to you in church. Many women desire healing and a safe place to tell their abortion story, but most are afraid they will be judged and rejected by others, especially the church. In shame, their hearts have turned away from God thinking he has already turned away and will never love them again. This type of shame will have women hidden, isolated, and living self-destructive lives which will lead to additional layers of trauma if not dealt with early on. Women instinctively know our bodies are created to give life, not take it away. That responsibility can come with great joy and sometimes a heavy burden.
70% of abortive women have indicated they are Christian and have a religious upbringing. 45% say they are in church each week. Their religion told them pregnancy out of wedlock is sinful and deserves punishment so in shame they went looking for a quiet way out. This story along with many others are the faces of abortion. It is not one-size-fits-all! There is a real girl with a real-life story behind every pregnancy crisis. When we open our hearts to listen to their broken stories, we will begin to see where the real crisis lies and move towards a solution that changes hearts and saves both the lives of mother and baby. Abortion is NOT a political issue!
Portrait of a Pregnancy Crisis
When a young girl unexpectantly finds herself pregnant, her body's first response is shock-- then fear, dread, and anxiety will set in. As most humans do in a crisis, we look for the quickest way out and will rationalize any way of escape especially when a threat lurks in the dark. She will block emotions from getting involved. She does not think about this pregnancy as a baby. She has no category for that. She may not feel safe in telling her parents or family members for fear of rejection and judgment but she may have a good friend she trusts enough to help her out of this crisis. She hears of a clinic that offers to help girls in a pregnancy crisis and makes an appointment for counsel. She is told there is no baby inside her, only a blob of cells and tissue and that she will feel relieved when it is removed and able to move on with her life. So she desperately buys into the lie. She has the procedure and walks out a bit relieved but also feeling an overwhelming sense of loss in her heart. In the days and weeks to come, she will often think back to the abortion day and wonder if she made the right decision. She may begin to experience nightmares and insomnia and have feelings of guilt, shame, and remorse. Triggers may take her back to the abortion keeping her stuck in the trauma. To control the pain, she may turn to alcohol or drugs as a way to numb up. As time marches on she may suffer from depression, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, eating disorders, regret, isolation, feelings of unworthiness, failed relationships, detachment from or extreme protection over her living children. Many additional layers of trauma have now been added and the memory of her abortion may escape her. It has been buried so deep inside her soul that she does not recognize that it is at the root of everything. She may continue in this cycle for many years not understanding why she lives a life of such pain and suffering.
Abortion has a way of catching up to us. It is like a time bomb waiting to go off. When it does it can be paralyzing especially not knowing what to do with all the pain and grief.
If you have been through a past abortion and have experienced the pain and regret of that decision, know that you are not alone. I encourage you to find a safe place to tell your story. Healing begins there. I would be honored to listen to your story and help lead you into a place of healing. You are safe and loved here. Feel free to email me confidentially at Terri@FrontPorchGirl.com.
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THE POSSIBLE LONG TERM AFTER-EFFECTS OF ABORTION TRAUMA:
Breast Cancer Risk