ABUSED & ABORTION WOUNDED
Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.
If you are like me and have been wounded by abuse and/or a past abortion, I want you to know...
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE LOVED!
My heart hurts for any woman who has been in an abusive relationship... physical, sexual, emotional, or spiritual. I want to say to you, I am sorry if anyone has ever deeply hurt you or made you feel unworthy and not enough. It is a lie!
My heart breaks for any girl who found herself alone in a pregnancy crisis and fear told her the only way to survive was an abortion. Abortion hurts a woman's heart, forever... no matter the circumstances.
We now see evidence that abuse and abortion are most often linked together. The experienced trauma from either one of them, especially not dealt with will often leave the brain stuck in fight-or-flight mode which will heavily influence future trauma and life decisions.
I have yet to meet any woman who would choose to go through the decision-making trauma of abortion. It is a traumatic experience! The common thread that runs through every abortion decision is fear, abandonment, grief, loss, and shame... because no matter how far our culture has come, a girl is still left responsible for giving birth and caring for her child often with no resources, and an unwed pregnancy still comes with judgment and shame. Not the same for boys.
The reality... 1-in-3 women have experienced an abortion... and for every woman, there is a man involved. These women are our mothers, daughters, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, girlfriends, ministers, bible study leaders, and women sitting next to us in church... all holding tight to their secret for fear of judgment and rejection. Shame is tethered to her secret and keeps her heart hidden, isolated, and disconnected... telling her that she is bad and unworthy of love. We are seeing more men speaking out about the guilt and hurt they carry for the part played in an abortion decision.
Shame, Grief, and Condemnation all stand guard at the door to her soul allowing no one to fully know who she is.
SIDE EFFECTS OF ABORTION TRAUMA:
When a woman does not deal with the trauma of abortion, it will eventually deal with her. Secrets at some point will begin screaming out at her, and she will often be unaware of the root cause of her body taking off on her. She has worked hard and long to forget the trauma.
We often see abuse (trauma) going on in relationships before the unexpected pregnancy, and it continues throughout the decision-making process. This trauma often gets dismissed and not dealt with after an abortion-trauma gets layered on top.
One of the first steps in healing is having a safe and trusted person to tell and bear witness to your abortion experience. If you are interested in healing and would like to talk to me about your story, I would love to talk to you. Contact info is below. Also, check out our groups.
Listed her are some short and long-term side effects of unhealed abortion trauma:
Grief from Loss
Disconnect from Children
Difficulty with Trust & Intimacy
*1-in-3 women have experienced the trauma of sexual and/or physical abuse.
1. Research shows that a large percentage of post-abortive women have experienced some
form of past or childhood abuse and/or trauma.
2. Studies show that healing from the trauma of abortion and abuse helps end the
ongoing generational cycles of abortion and abuse in families
3. Healing sets us free to tell our stories leading others into healing.
4. Healing sets us free to live a more authentic life and discover and live out our purpose.
FOR THE CHURCH...
*1-in-3 women have been sexually, physically, or emotionally abused. The church has been and continues to be silent about abuse among women and most often will cause more harm by ignoring or diminishing their claims and supporting the abuser. Many injured women are now living in exile from the church and God.
*1-in-3 women have had an abortion and for every woman, there is a man involved.
* A large percentage of women who have had an abortion also experienced childhood trauma or abuse.
* 50% of women who have an abortion will have additional abortions.
* 70% of women who chose abortion indicate they are Christian.
* 45% of post-abortive Christian women attend church and remain silent in their secrets.
* 55% of post-abortive Christian women live in exile and believe God hates them and they are going to hell.
* More than 90% of women and men do not know where to go for abortion healing.
* Politics, Religion, and changing Laws will never end abortion because they are about the opinions and control of man over culture and people. Laws are not concerned about the heart of people, especially a girl in a pregnancy crisis. When we start seeing this crisis through the eyes of a terrified girl, we may figure out what is needed to make real change.
* Church and community support systems must be in place to give care and support to single moms and babies. The ultimate goal is to provide help, support, and safety to women so there is no need or desire for an abortion.
* We should NEVER forget that the full weight and responsibility of a child is put on HER. Our world allows boys/men to walk away from a child they do not want which leaves a girl desperately searching for a way out of something she can not process or see her way through alone.
* The church needs to hold men accountable.
* The church should always be a safe place for women to go in any crisis... pregnancy, abuse, sexual trauma, etc... and know that they will be loved and supported. If that would happen, we would have more women healed, free, and testifying to the pain and destruction of abuse and abortion. They would run support and healing programs, bring women in exile back to their creator, and teach girls about their worthiness to God and the world. They would be breaking generational cycles of abuse and abortion.
THE KEY TO UNDERSTANDING HOW TO CREATE CHANGE IS IN OUR STORIES!
To end the need for abortion, we must become a movement of love, redemption, and hope -- not just focused on the unborn life but on the life of the woman who ends up in an unwanted pregnancy, desperately needing love and support.
You can read my personal abortion story here: FrontPorchGirl.com/mystory