"The pain of my past lost its sting when I realized its purpose".
Some of the greatest stories told are when God takes the most broken areas of our lives and makes Beauty out of Ashes. Many of us are carrying the heavy burdens of guilt and shame which has buried itself deep into every crevice of our soul.
It's for you that I tell my story!
It is the story of a girl who has carried the pain of a dark secret and the wounds of abuse in her heart for many years. My life had become all the evidence of this busted up wounded heart.
After 25 years of marriage, I found myself once again in the middle of a painful divorce. The pain that comes from the ending of a girls fairy-tale is devastating... period! My heart wasn't just shattered, it was now a pile of ashes. I cried and yelled out to God every day... "how did I get here again?" I needed some answers. From a young age, I had learned to survive physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It was who I had become... a survivor! But I was barely hanging on and tired of just surviving the trauma. I wanted to be free -a Jesus kind of free- but the covering of shame I wore kept me from believing Jesus would ever see me or my pain. Shame has a way of doing that! I had come to a crossroad... life or death?
His name is "El Roi- the God who SEES me" and the truth is God did see me. He showed up at the crossroad and lit up a visual timeline of my life- the good, the bad, and the ugly. I could see his spirit weaved in and out and through all the pain. I saw how He had never left me even though I felt he had. At that moment I had so many questions and I knew He had so much to tell me so I chose life, curled up in the lap of Jesus, and I went with Him into the deepest wounded places of my soul. It was there that I experienced the real love of Jesus and found my true identity by listening to who HE SAYS I AM. When that took hold in my soul, the chains of shame and oppression fell to the ground. It was not an easy healing, but it was worth the journey to freedom. Friend, I am not a preachy-religious-judging kind of girl but I am a Jesus-lovin girl who has experienced a true miracle of the heart and my greatest hope is that my story will speak life into your heart and will encourage you to grab a hold of Jesus and experience the kind of healing that only He can do.
Psalm 107:2 - Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story.
I hope you will grab a cup of coffee or something yummy and join me on the Front Porch as I continue to share the rest of my story. Part 1, 2, & 3 here.
Till next time...
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